What your LinkedIn profile picture says about you

LinkedIn is a thousand things to a thousand different people.  Perhaps you’ve completed your profile and use it for brief and infrequent messages to former colleagues, or maybe you’re a heavy user preferring it to all the alternatives.  Whatever it does for you there’s no denying that first impressions count, so here’s a few tongue in cheek suggestions of what your Linkedin profile picture says about you.

No Picture

You’re not really serious about this are you?  Failed at the first hurdle.  Sort yourself out and upload a head and shoulders shot.

The Non-Human

Are you a logo?  A building?  Do you have four legs?  The profile is meant to be about you.

The Face in Shade

I can see that you’re a human, aged 20-60, possibly male, but that’s about it.

The Over The Shoulder

Are you David Brent?  This is a business website not recruitment page for TV extras.

The Party Dress

The shot taken of you in that bar in Ibiza holding a half empty Pink Mojito at 2am.  You’re clearly someone who enjoys a night out, but what are you like in the office?

The Other Half

So you cut a picture of the two of you in half and uploaded the bit with you in it.  You now appear to be leaning to one side with a stray hand on your shoulder.

The Webcam DIY

The view of your nostrils with a slight fisheye effect while you frown trying to get the angle right is not a good look.

The ID

To save time you uploaded the same picture that’s on your name badge.  You know, the one taken when you were 123rd to be photographed on a hot day in 2010.

The Oldie

You’ve got one decent picture of yourself but it’s from 2003.  Scrub up and upload something more recent.

The Over-Posed

“Hello, my name is Larry.  Larry Lovemyself.”

The Pilot

Q: “If you’re in a crowded room, how do you tell which one is the pilot?”
A: “Just wait. He’ll let you know soon enough.”

The Décolletage

Yes, your cleavage can attract attention, but probably not the sort you might want on LinkedIn.  Try Tinder.

Have you seen other examples that made you wonder?  Let me know in the comments below.